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[headjacked]

Heyyyyyyyy, kiddo, you've reached me. Me who is Rhys. Anyway, not sure why you're trying to get in contact with the king of the dweebs, but I'm sure you've got your reasons. Reasons you should probably re-examine. I'm just sayin'.

Last chance to back out.

No?

Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Comments

[headjacked]

'That's our business, Snoopy Sue. ...and no, I dunno what's with the alliterative nicknames tonight, so don't ask.'

[ Tiny holo nose scrunch. ]

[phaseshifter]

Freaking called it. I bet you tried to play it off like it wasn't even a big deal, like the giant asshole that you are. Ugh!

Are you ever planning on saying you're sorry? You might not have much time left. We're on a timer here, remember?

[headjacked]

[ Nose scrunch morphs into a head shake. ]

'Like I said, it's our business, and we. We're gonna come to an understanding before everything ends. We gotta.'

[phaseshifter]

You don't gotta. Not if you keep just acting like he's going to suddenly forgive and forget. When has that ever worked? For anyone? I mean, are you feeling any less butthurt about Moxxi betraying you? Because that's how badly you betrayed Rhys. At least.

[ She may not know all the deets there, but since Moxxi didn't steal Jack's body after living in his head and buddying up to him for months SHE'S P SURE. ]

[headjacked]

'Toooootally different situation! Mox straight up wanted me and my Vault Hunters dead. Y-you can't compare my intentions to hers, nun-uh.

[ Rhys is up again, though obviously barely awake. He blinks blearily. ]

Izzie botherin' you?

[phaseshifter]

[ Agh, a Rees. Angel shakes her head. ]

No, it's fine, we're just talking. Go back to sleep.

[ And she tucks a little more of the blanket around him to facilitate that before looking back at Jack. GRR. ]

Even if we pretend that your intentions weren't insanely selfish, that isn't the point. We're talking about how Rhys felt. I know empathy is a foreign concept to you, but I'm pretty sure you can still imagine how terrible it would be if a friend had you abducted and tortured so they could steal something from you.

[headjacked]

[ Why can't she understand?? God, he wants to start screaming. His face twists into something she might mistake for contemplative. In reality, he's biting his tongue.

Rhys settles again, though his eye doesn't close. ]

You too. Hey. H... you too.

'Shhhhshhhhhhshhh. You're, uh. Dreaming.'

[phaseshifter]

He's right. See, I'm agreeing with Jack. Definitely a dream.

[ Smiles and hairpettings are the way to go here. Pls don't make her try a lullaby.

Jack, of course, doesn't get smiles or hairpettings. He gets a Look out of the corner of her eye. EMPATHISE HARDER, SHITHEAD. ]

[headjacked]

He's not wrong all the time, jus'... like... 99.999999999999 -

'This isn't just an insult to me, it's an insult to mathematics. Ugh. Seriously. Just go back to bed, the adults are talking.'

[ Look, Angel, he acknowledged your adulthood! And Rhys shuts his eyes again! Everything's coming up roses. Jack... still cocks an eyebrow and nods at Rhys, though, as if to say 'see what I mean?'

Idiot can't take care of himself. ]

[phaseshifter]

[ With Rhys' eye/s closed once more, Angel is free to drop the smile and scowl at Jack once more. Not too vehemently, because she did take in that "adult" comment, but still. GRR. ]

I'm sorry, are you trying to say that Rhys using hyperbole somehow illustrates your point?

[ SHE DUN GET IT ]

[headjacked]

'Nevermind.'

[ Said with a huge degree of agitation and huff. This will be a never-ending, cyclical argument, he can already tell. Dammit, she's supposed to be smarter than this.

His teeny-tiny form slumps 'against' Dumpy, like his very existence is exhausting in this moment. Melodrama, Jack loves it. ]

'Rhys and I... we'll have a talk when we all get some breathing room.'

[phaseshifter]

A talk. Not an apology.

[ Which means he'll talk at Rhys and throw so much Jack logic at him that by the end he'll be expecting Rhys to thank him for the bodysnatching. Right?

UUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NEW TACTIC ]

Do I get one?

[headjacked]

'You died because of me.'

[ There. Point blank once more, admission of fault. It's not an 'I'm sorry', not by a longshot, and there's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it weird emphasis on the 'me', but. He said the words.

He lets them hang for a few moments. ]

'Only real goal I have anymore is not letting that happen again.'

[phaseshifter]

I died because you stole Rhys' body, yes.

[ sorry jack were you trying to take the ~credit~ for what happened in the control core ]

But that wasn't an apology. And I'm not trying to be cruel --

[ She is. Just a little bit. ]

-- but you aren't exactly in a position to stop me dying when our time here runs out. Body or no body.

[headjacked]

'I can't fall on any swords for you, yeah. I know. I can at least promise to never hurt you again. Then do what I can with what I got.

'Cause, sure, getting you awake in case of sudden spider-shower 'pocalypse probably won't save you, but it gives you a sliver of a fraction of a freakin' chance. I'll take that over 0% any day.'

[ Sitting on Dumpy now, while looking not at her, not at Rhys, just the wall. ]

[phaseshifter]

[ He's doing the avoidance thing, isn't he. The same way he swerved around even directly mentioning her mom.

She really isn't trying to be cruel this time. But it kinda has to be said. ]

We're not talking shower spiders now, though, are we. We're talking about how you may have to sta-- float there and watch me, and Rhys, and everyone die of radiation poisoning. Or get wiped out by whatever the termination procedures involve, Iunno.

[headjacked]

[ You can't avoid things forever. Well, maybe if he had his body, and his robots, and his space station, and the bunker... but now? Nah. If possible, he looks even smaller. ]

'Why, though? So I can feel miserable and powerless?? The hell is that accomplishing?'

[phaseshifter]

[ Ordinarily, she might say it's granting her a level of satifaction from reversing their old roles. Right now, though? Not so much.

She glances at Rhys before continuing. Juuuuust in case he's awake again. He doesn't need shitty gloomthoughts in his head, thanks. ]

We're talking about it so you can be prepared.

And so I can ask you for a favour.

[headjacked]

[ Eyebrow again. He flickers, reappearing with his chin in his hands. ]

'Aaaaall ears, princess.'

[phaseshifter]

[ Jack. Jack pls. He gets Angel's very best attempt at a Look as withering as Beckett's before she elaborates. GOD. ]

If that happens, you need to hold it together long enough for the next session to commence. You know enough about the town layout and how things work here in general for you to be able to relay vital information to the next set of people.

[ Assuming there's going to be another set. ]

You're the only person who can survive whatever purge gets initiated. Dumpy can fly, and we know you're not hooked into any of the town's systems or the admin would have deleted you already.

[headjacked]

[ Chin. Off. Hands. Honestly, the thought of what would happen to him if that went down did occur to him. And he pushed it away, of course. ]

'That's it, just hang around while my kid -- kid - s-s'

[ Jack looks equal parts distressed and enraged before vanishing, image flickering and distorting. Dumpy smeeps in response, as quietly as a robot can smeep. ]

[phaseshifter]

Don-- oh... frick.

[ Well. She can't say that was unexpected. Jack freaking the fuck out and Dupy being adorable are pretty much the standard.

Seriously, so adorbs.

He smeep.

Angel takes a deep breath and counts to ten before picking Dumpy up for cuddletime. Cuddletime and kissus and little cooing noises. He's a good robot nephew! Probably the best. He deserves the cuddles.

Plus she can try and gently cool any overheated areas with her freezing cold hands while she gives up the snuggles. She's patient, and this is important. She can wait until Jack returns. NO AVOIDING THIS ONE, BUCKO. ]

[headjacked]

[ Rhys sleepily echoes Dumpy's smeep before snortfling and readjusting on the ground. Dumpy stays quiet, soaking up the attention before Jack returns.

And return he does, partially phased through Angel's arm. Not super willingly. Not that it's ever his choice anymore. ]

'This discussion is over.'

[phaseshifter]

[ Christ. Angel is busy wondering how the fudge everyone she knows is SO FREKING CUTE when Jack pops back up. Not everyone is a cutie. This shitlord doesn't even fukken smeep. Git gud, casul.

I mean she. Moves her arm. Very considerate. Dumpy can have one-armed cuddles for now. ]

If you actually want to redeem yourself - if you ever cared about me or Rhys - you should hear me out. You owe me that.

[headjacked]

[ The Rhys bit gets a scoff out of him, though. ]

'Oh, ooookay, so we've got the perceived weakness exploitation out of the way -- b-but sure! Sure, what else do you want to hit me with??'

[ Someone's getting loud again. ]