Rhys (
headjacked) wrote2015-10-04 12:16 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Entry tags:
ic inbox
Heyyyyyyyy, kiddo, you've reached me. Me who is Rhys. Anyway, not sure why you're trying to get in contact with the king of the dweebs, but I'm sure you've got your reasons. Reasons you should probably re-examine. I'm just sayin'.
Last chance to back out.
No?
Don't say I didn't warn ya.
Last chance to back out.
No?
Don't say I didn't warn ya.
no subject
[ Rhys laughs nervously, still a half-wreck himself. He presses the ice bottle against his own cheek, breathing deeply again. ]
But I’m still sure. I have new nightmare fuel, but that’s all it is.
no subject
His breathing is a little steadier now. He coughs and clears his throat, rubs his face. Chasing down calm bit by bit.] It... could have happened. I only realize now, how close I'd been back then...
no subject
[ It’s not every day you have your past and identity shredded and burned before your eyes. Cautiously, Rhys pulls back, though he’s ready to steady Beckett again if need be. ]
So... we just avoid m...m-majorly pissing you off, and everything’s gravy.
no subject
All of Norfinbury is a special goddamn circumstance. [It's not comforting. He doesn't want to scare Rhys - God knows how much he doesn't - but this is Beckett. He doesn't sugarcoat.] Bloody hell, and you've just begun to mend things with Enoch, haven't you.
no subject
I wouldn't say 'just begun', we're -- we hang out! And that's -- that was different. Felt... different.
Plus... in the years and years and YEARS you've been around, how many times have you actually lost control like that?
no subject
More than I'm sure you think. [He's not here to sugarcoat, though, either. He tips his sunglasses down a little, showing a flash of the dull red of his eyes.] It's how I got this. A Clan weakness. But... most, if not all companions I used to travel with were considerably more dangerous than even me.
no subject
[ If Beckett won't break out the sugar, Rhys well. Though there's logic in the sweetness. A stubborn sort. ]
...but I get it, none of what I'm saying is going to make you feel completely okay. I wish I was that good of a motivational speaker.
no subject
How do you know it feels wrong? What - what's the difference?
Perhaps I can see... [Of course he still wants the evidence of his own mind. He always, always does. But he is more than willing to let Rhys guide him.]
no subject
[ A little more manly then ~I feel it in my heart~, he thinks. Though that is also true. ]
Which, I know, isn't the most reassuring thing in the world, and you're all about definite, absolute proof. With me, I've long since realized that there's... there's always gonna be this uncertainty, this 'what-if'. What if I go bugnuts and rip someone's guts out again? What if we... end up back in cages?
[ Very viseral discomfort, building and building, until he steels his voice and squares his shoulders. ]
You just can't lose yourself in that spiral, or the bad guys win.
no subject
I am with you on that. Sometimes surely you have to simply go ahead and forge on. Though it's by thinking about the what-ifs that you prepare for them, as much as you can...
[He sees the stiffening in Rhys's pose, and holds it there.]
I hadn't realized you were still so worried about that - about "going bugnuts" again.
no subject
That's... depressing, sorry, I'm being depressing. Super unhelpful.
[ His chin quivers, just a bit. ]
I'm no Angel, am I. Maybe you should talk to her. You. Probably should. Definitely.
no subject
So, let's just, conveniently not hear that part for now.]
It is what it is. You learn both sides of it in time. Control... and to move on from losing control. Self-loathing gets awfully dull after a while. And you learn that you aren't the worst thing about the world.
[Not his world, at least. Not by a long shot. And this is Norfinbury. Both of them are going to have to work pretty hard to be the worst thing about it.]